Because what fun is obsessing over OPKs when you have to do it with a shitty iPhone camera?
Today I got to work from home, because I had a doctor’s appointment over lunch. So around 10am I decided to pee on an OPK, because that’s my set time – that way I can usually hold out on going potty for 2 hours on days I commute to work, since I don’t drink or pee on the train (obviously) (although maybe not, if you are a crazy person).
Zee test, it was clearly negative. I pouted and then went off to my doctor’s appointment. I was proclaimed “very healthy.”
Around 2:30, I had a sudden brainstorm that I would pee into a tupperware container. ??? Yes, I know. See, I thought the test from this morning was wrong, somehow, it just didn’t look the way it usually does (red streaks). And I wanted to take another one but seriously, 4.5 hours later? That just seemed like a waste of a test that could not be justified. So I decided to stick my biznass in the fridge until I could justify it. Or until my husband found it and divorced me.
Anyway! THEN, around 5pm, I decided to take a First Response test. (I have a lot of pee sticks in the house, in case you can’t tell.) Because they’re BETTER than the stupid internet strips who don’t know what they’re taking about, right? So I did. And it was defective! Like, nothing happened. I even tried sticking the wick in the toilet water after a few minutes to see if it was ovulating. First Response is totally getting a strongly worded letter and a stick with my pee on it in the mail.
And then (yes, this pee story is still going), I felt gypped by the First Response experience, but lo, my pee was gone down the toilet. Behold, justification for testing my biznass in the fridge. (Note: This should work for 24 hours.) See above. That … may or may not be positive. The line on the left looks slightly lighter? Maybe? Who knows. I would test with another brand but eff you, First Response.
This is the most asinine blog post I have ever written.
Anyway, it’s Bone Week so it only really matters for determining when I start taking Prometrium. I’m glad I’m temping this cycle.
i just had to tell you… i’ve been stealth-reading your blog for a few weeks now and i’m incredibly glad i wasn’t drinking anything while reading this post, else it would all have come spraying out of my nose when i read about your fridge biznass. also: amazon’s not a bad place to go for the clearblue digitals. They’re a little less expensive there (plus all individually wrapped so you can keep them around for months and not worry about that expiration crap if you want.) also also: i’m totally stealing “bone week” next month.
I was always way too lazy for the regular OPKs. I think I’ve spent nearly $500 on the digitals over the past year or so, but it’s totally worth it! The instant yes or no saves analyzing those damn sticks.
This is hilarious.
Way to cover your bases, OPKs be damned!!!
It looks pretty close to + to me, and nice that it’s only CD14!!
I was also chuckling at your antics!!! I’ll be curious to see what tomorrow’s analysis brings
hah, too funny. Effing opk’s…they can literally drive you insane!!
good post! laughing
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