It’s cool to have rice cereal on your nose

We started rice cereal this weekend and it went pretty well! I made it (which basically consists of grinding up the rice into a powder and cooking it, then thinning it out with breast milk). The first time he tried it I’m not sure that he actually got much down the hatch, but yesterday I think he was actually eating it. I brought some to daycare today (and was very conscious of being That Mom Who Made Rice Cereal) so we’ll see how that goes.

I think Henry’s been ready for food for awhile. I think it took ME more time to be ready to give him food, to let go of him being just a tiny breastfed baby (though not from the breast, ha ha). (And actually, I think the “tiny” ship sailed a long time ago, too.) Whatever, it’s very SUNRISE, SUNSET up in here.

Along with the solid foods, we have some other changes planned as Henry approaches six months. We are getting rid of the pacifiers, which I think will be totally fine (I find we only “need” them during transitions such as being put into a car seat or going down for a nap) – but both his daycare provider and my mom have expressed reservations. I realize the binky makes their lives easier, but I think it will be better for everyone to rip off the band-aid now rather than later.

Another change is moving him to his own room. Right now, his crib is in our room, which is becoming less necessary as the middle of the night wakeups happen less often (no jinxing please!) and the risk of SIDS is less. I LIKE having him there, though. I like being able to wake up and hear him breathe. I like being with him all night even if we’re sleeping – it makes the fact that I have to leave him all day easier. If it was totally up to me, he’d stay where he is, at least for now. My husband thinks it’s time, though, and maybe it is. Right now I’m pretty sure Henry has no idea where he is – he’s about 90% asleep when he goes to bed, and if he wakes up on his own he’s usually crying with his eyes closed. So maybe it will be easier to make the change now rather than later.

Raspberries of Rage

Henry started blowing raspberries last week. (I’m with Lesley. Why is this a milestone?) Anyway, he’s OBSESSED with raspberries. All day long, raspberries. Then the other night I put Henry to bed and he woke up after a few minutes and started to cry. We decided to give him a few minutes to see if he would go back to sleep. He did not, and in fact screamed and cried and blew angry-ass raspberries all at the same time. The husband went up and “had a man-to-man talk” with him while I was pumping, and he calmed down.

Tonight I put him to bed, and he woke up when I set him down in his crib. Again, we decide to give it a few minutes – sometimes he does just go right back to sleep. He did not this time, either, and when I picked him up he puked all over both of us. And then he blew puke raspberries. I love this baby.

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I took the above picture with the iPad that I somehow won by filling out a survey for Whole Foods. I just wanted to whine that the fruit cup snack I had bought from the downstairs kiosk was too expensive at $4.42 including tax. But now that I have an iPad I am suddenly pretty psyched about the Whole Foods kiosk and don’t mind paying a premium for organic snacks on occasion.

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Can I bring up the manpris one more time? It’s a hot topic in this house since the baby is wearing them every day in this heat wave. The husband and I are in disagreement over the better nickname for our only child. What do you think – H-Fed or K-Hen?

Exclusive pumping, five months in

(The best shot I could get of the manpri situation without a photo taker. It’s not a good one, but seriously – the shorts are below his knees.)

Exclusive pumping! Still!

It is SO MUCH EASIER now than it was at first. I’m pumping five times a day now, and three of the times I pump (during the week), I’m at work, so there is no baby to wrangle.  For the last one, he’s already in bed, and he sleeps through the early morning one about 50% of the time. (If not, I feed him or he’s pretty good about sitting up in between my legs and playing.)  Weekend pumping can be a bit of a challenge with dealing with the baby, too, especially since Henry thinks naps are for losers. I try to do it in the car, if we’re going somewhere, or start right when I put him in his gym for tummy time.

My current pumping schedule is:

• Somewhere in the 5am-5:45am range (depending on when I need to get to work, sometimes later on the weekends) - pump for 27-30 minutes for about 16-18oz
• 8:30am – pump for 15-22 minutes (depending on how much time I have) for about 6 oz
• 11:30am – pump for 15-22 minutes for about 5 oz
• 3pm – pump for 15-22 minutes for about 7 oz
• 8:15pm – pump for 20-25 minutes for about 10-12 oz

I now have two pumps – a Freestyle and a Pump in Style. I have had the Freestyle since the beginning and recently invested in the PIS when a friend of my SIL was trying to unload her (never or barely used) pump. I leave the PIS at work, so now I’m not hauling the pump and pump parts back and forth to work everyday – just bottles and milk. This has made my commute a lot easier, as the commute involves 2.5 miles of walking per day and also carrying a laptop and a purse and I just really felt like sherpa sometimes, you know? Plus I thought it was a good idea to have a backup in case my pump broke or I got mugged by a flash mob or something.

Right now I’m getting about 45-50oz per day. And my kid is eating 40-45oz per day, plus there is always a little thrown away, with bottles not being finished, etc. I’m a little afraid of dropping down to four pumping sessions a day, so I might hold off on that until we start solids, maybe? Which might be this weekend. I’m not sure how long it takes from them to start taking less from the boob/bottle after that starts?

Now. Over the past couple of weeks I have started to really think about OMG I would have SO MUCH MORE TIME if I quit. Like, the extra 45 minutes I could sleep in the morning? Not having to constantly run to the lactation room at work? Always having to stop my 15 minutes of me time each night at 8:15 to hook myself up to the pump? Right now it feels like just something I do (like Erin said when she in the process of quitting) – but I’m starting to see how freeing it could be to not do it.

So why I am still doing this? I don’t really know. I would sort of like to start cycling again, just to make sure everything is okay there. I don’t have anything against formula. I do like giving him breast milk. I like that I am still sustaining him, that there is still a physical connection between us. I am happy about the fact that it has helped me lose a shit ton of weight.

When I write them down, the positives seem to sort of pale in the face of the two hours per day, every day, that I spend hooked up to that pump. But still I don’t WANT to stop. So I guess I will keep going.

I sent my baby to day care in Kevin Federline-esque manpris today

Oh my God. How is this baby five months old??

He’s doing all these new things now. He’s all about sitting up. He wants to sit up at all times, including when he’s asleep. (He’s got the tripod sitting thing about half-mastered, but there are many sideways face plants.) He loves to “stand.” I think he’s totally wanting to try solid foods, because he’s started getting agitated when I’m eating, and a bottle just won’t cut it.

I love this baby so much. And at the same time, I am so tired. Work is crazy right now. We’ve all had this bug Henry got at day care for about a week. Between baby wrangling, working, commuting, pumping, taking the dog to chemo, and household chores, I have 15 minutes to myself a day during the week. (Between 8-8:15pm. And I know a lot of the twin mamas out there probably don’t even have that.) I haven’t commented on any of your blogs in weeks (though I read in bed, right before I go to sleep). I would give so much to be able to work part-time, but. The house. It is not sold. And now the dog. Is getting chemo.

(Thanks for all your nice comments on Roxie, by the way. She started chemo right away last week and things are about as positive as they can be with this diagnosis. We are loving her up and hoping for as much time as possible.)

I am trying to live in the moment as much as possible, to love this baby right now as much as I can. But I know the days and years are going to fly by and it makes me sad.

****

Henry is rather rotund. Which is great! I was so worried about him not gaining weight! It does present certain complications, however.

For one, the blowout situation. His day care told me that he should really go up a size in diapers because he is constantly having assplosions all over his cute little onesies. Except – he wears 3s, which I believe are good up to 33 pounds. He is maybe 19 pounds, so I don’t think that’s the problem. I think they just doesn’t fit him.

For two, I am having to put him in 12 month pants and then roll them up so that they fit him. That’s fine and all – I am only even bothering with pants in the first place (now that it’s warm out) because day care requires it.  But since you can’t really roll up shorts, it leads to a manpri situation.

I never wanted my baby to be like Kevin Federline but there it is.

Harbinger of Doom

You guys know that I was super anxious and superstitious during pregnancy, right? Well, I still totally am.

Right, so. I have this friend E. E has adorable 15 month old twins, and I am the godmother to one of them. Every time E comes to visit something horrible happens:

• May 2009 – E and her husband come to visit for a week. The husband gets laid off while they are here.
• November 2009 – E plans a visit while in town for work. The day she is set to arrive, I go to the doctor and find out that my third pregnancy had ended three weeks prior, at 12 weeks. She came anyway and it was awful because she was 19 weeks pregnant with the twins and I could not deal. (Note: she offered not to come, I insisted.)
• Memorial Day weekend 2011 – E, her husband and the twins make plans to come. Henry is hospitalized and the trip is shelved.

Shelved until this weekend. I did not want them come. I can’t help but see a pattern in their visits – every time they (well, E, specifically) come to visit, something horrible happens or threatens to happen. I asked the husband if we could find a reason to go to visit them instead. I worried that this time something would happen to one of the dogs.

 

And on Wednesday we found some lumps on Roxie’s neck, and we just went to the vet and found out she has cancer.

 

My poor husband. He loves that dog so much. I love her, too, but they have a really special bond. I feel terrible for him, and for her. And sad. We’re planning to do chemo or whatever it makes sense to do to give her as much time as possible, as long as it’s good time, but it sounds like we’re talking 6 months or so.

 

I know this is just a stupid coincidence and I’m being superstitious. I know that. But E is not coming to visit again. We’ll go to them or meet up somewhere in between from now on.