The birth of Violet Elizabeth



Here is the very overdue birth story of my little peanut, who is three months old today.

On Monday, December 17th, I had an OB appointment. At the appointment, my doctor did a cervical check and said that I was 2cm dilated already. We made the decision to induce at 39 weeks, which would have been Thursday the 20th. (Officially because I was a high-risk patient, for me the reason was really that I think it would totally suck to have a birthday really close to Christmas or between Christmas and New Year’s.)

On the way home, I felt a contraction and was like, wow. That was a REAL mothereffing contraction. I had a few more throughout the afternoon and cancelled my plans (I’d taken the afternoon off to get a pedicure and putter around the house) and laid in bed timing the contractions on an iPhone app. They continued but eased up enough that I went to sleep that night fine and didn’t think that I was necessarily in labor.

I woke up at 6am with contractions that were 5 minutes apart. I asked my husband to get Henry ready for school (at the time, that was my job) because I felt too horrible to do it. He took him in, and by the time he got back the contractions were all over the place – 5 minutes, then 12 minutes, then 7 minutes. We both decided to work from home that day.

(As an aside – I normally work from home really well. I get way more done at home than at work, because of the distractions. However, on this particular day, it was more “working from home.” I had a call with my manager at 4:15pm about the project I was wrapping up. The contractions were still all over the place.)

My contractions finally got to 5 minutes apart for an hour from 6-7pm, so we left for the hospital then. (In retrospect, I should have realized by how hard the contractions were that I was definitely in active labor, but I am such a rule follower that I refused to go until I hit the guideline.) We got there around 7:40, and then waited for a lady at the desk to finish up her paperwork while I dealt with three horrible contractions. They put me in a triage room – alone – no husband allowed – and the bitchface nurse hooked me up to a fetal monitor and left me there. I couldn’t move at all. When the very nice resident came in, she checked me and said I was at 7cm and it was now or never for an epidural. I said, NOW NOW NOW. Then they left me alone again, during which time the contractions were right on top each other and horrible. I literally screamed at the top of my lungs SOMEONE HELP ME PLEASE FUCK FUCK FUCK IT HURTS HELP ME.
(I felt bad about the screaming until I realized that I went through the part of labor that women hire doulas for and take 12 week classes to prepare for ALL BY MYSELF strapped to a bed, while not understanding what was happening.)
When the nurse came back, I told her that I felt like I needed to push and she said, “Don’t push. Breathe through your nose.” And she then she sauntered out. Then the resident came back, checked me, said I was fully dilated and we had to deliver now. I barely got to the delivery room (bitchface nurse: Do you want to walk? me: NO!) before I started pushing. My husband almost missed her birth sitting in the waiting room.
Everything after that in the hospital was great. The doctors were so nice and they made great changes in the recovery unit since the last time I was there. It was a really good experience once Violet was out of me! And it was really cool that I delivered her in exactly the same delivery room that I delivered Henry in (at exactly the same gestational age – with a 2 pound weight difference!).
The next day the OB called me in the hospital and told me that she had stripped my membranes during the cervical check. I was like, OHHHH. That explains the real contractions starting in the car on the way home. Yes it does.
We are doing great. A few general thoughts on life so far:
  • I didn’t realize how emotionally I was impacted by hormones until Violet was out of me. Literally, it was like once she was out, the clouds parted. I had been so anxious and angry – and in the delivery room everything was suddenly better.
  • Violet latched on immediately, and nursing her has been a breeze. It’s made me realize that maybe it wasn’t all my fault that Henry didn’t nurse. Not that it was HIS fault, seeing as how he was a BABY, but it takes two to tango I guess.
  • Having two kids has been easier than having a toddler and a difficult pregnancy (so far).
  • I went back to work last week and miss my peanut with a fiery passion. I feel sort of bad that I don’t miss Henry this much (though I did when HE was a baby). It’s probably because I spent maternity leave snuggling with Violet on the couch and nuzzling her head, while Henry’s new favorite thing to do is throw shit at me. But still, I feel bad.

7 responses »

  1. hey there!! love that little baby face, and that you nicknamed your nurse bitchface. good to hear from you lady. i went back to work 3 weeks ago – HORRIBLE. definitely getting better each week, but felt like i was ripping my heart out of my body each day walking out the door. best of luck settling into life as your new family of 4.

  2. i miss your posts!! She’s so beautiful!! and i can’t believe how insane and confusing that time must have been for you and your husband and I HATE BITCHFACE NURSE. But your husband didn’t miss the birth and now lookatMissVioletElizabethshe’sperfectwow! I pretty much just don’t post ever anymore, either. But i hope you still will, sometimes, because it’s fantastic :)

  3. What an introduction to your blog! (For me).. I love a birth story and a cute baby photo. And wow is she cute!

    But also – shouldn’t an OB ask your permission before they strip your membranes?

    I love reading about toddler + newborn families because I’m trying to work up the courage (and the eggs) to try for number two. Please continue to post about how fabulously easy it is for my benefit.

    Now I’m going to read the back story…

  4. Sorry just seeing this now!!! I cannot believe that they left you alone like that :( You would really think that they would have seen enough labors to be able to tell when someone is close to the end. I’m sorry that it wasn’t the experience that you hoped for, but GO YOU for having an unplanned unmedicated birth!! yikes! At least you got a good story out of it. And, oh yes, VIOLET!!! She’s adorable. xoxo

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